Fearless blog
The shift that happens postpartum is huge. Not just physically, but in how you see yourself, how society treats you, how you feel getting dressed in the morning. "I hate my postpartum body" is one of the most Googled phrases for a reason - because so many women feel it and so few feel like they're allowed to say it out loud.
Here's how I navigated my postpartum body image in a way that truly helped me.
On December 28, 2020 at 7:28am I was skin-to-skin for the first time with my son Leo. On the day he was born, so was I as a mother and it's been a brutal but beautiful coming of age.
Since that moment, I've found it really hard to like my post-baby body and its squishier tummy, new stretch marks, pink c-section scar, bigger feet, wider back and deflated boobs.
"On the day he was born, so was I as a mother - and it's been a brutal but beautiful coming of age."
Becoming a mother has also come with letting go of the version of myself I used to be. Anthropologists call it matrescence - the birth of a mother, where your entire identity shifts. The transition is as formative as your awkward, angsty teenage years, but given way less attention.
I've had to mourn the loss of the fun, carefree, cool, maybe even sometimes sexy me, left in its place with a woman who often feels invisible and chooses clothes based on speed-to-nipple access (hello feeding time).
Like millions of women before me - and even as someone who preaches body acceptance for a career - as a new mum I've had to wrestle with the temptation for a quick fix.
If this resonates with you, these five things have helped me rebuild a positive body image as a new mum. I hope they can do the same for you.
5 Ways to Rebuild a Positive Body Image as a New Mum
1. Update your wardrobe
It's going to take months to feel like your old self again, or maybe you'll never be your old self. Give yourself permission to grieve what you've lost and show gratitude for what you've found in your new life.
But unwearable relics of your old life won't do you any good. For me, I realised I don't need 27 pretty party dresses with a zip that won't close, but instead practical pieces - like jeans, tees and lots of activewear. You need to feel good, to look good, and clothes that fit now are key to that.
2. Clean up your feed
Ugh. Welcome to the cruel Insta comparison sub-set of perfect parents. Now, not only do you need to look amazing but you'll also start questioning if you're a good enough parent. Even though you're likely using your phone as a feeding companion and spending more time on it than ever, resist the urge to follow accounts that make you feel crappy.
Maybe download an audiobook to keep you entertained for those hours of nursing.
3. Embrace skin to skin
One of my favourite past times is sitting my post-baby body in the bath with the deliciously juicy Leo (at what point do we decide rolls aren't okay anymore?). I don't feel the need to pull in my stomach or cover my bits, which is incredibly liberating. It's not very often you can be fully naked in front of another being who sees you with nothing but love, so relish this time.
As my babies got older, I've made time to cuddle my husband (a ten minute pre-bed routine). This sounds simple but it truly has helped our marriage feel more romantic, not just like two roommates trying to keep two tiny dictators alive. And the 6-second kiss? Endorsed by the Gottman Institute and myself. Try it.
4. Put it in the diary
I move my body every day because it helps me feel better and lifts my mood. Granted there are plenty of days when I'd prefer to sit on the couch still in my pyjamas - but I've made it a habit that I don't have to think about. In the diary. Exercise at the same time each day or week. No constant negotiating with your partner.
Try this: "Hey, I want to feel good in my body again. Can you be home by 5:45pm on a Tuesday and Thursday night so I can go to a pilates class?" Be specific and ask for what you need. It'd be great if our partners guessed our needs - or you could die waiting.
5. Don't mention weight
At university, my friendship group made a decision that we weren't going to talk about weight. Wouldn't it be amazing if your mother's group or support network did the same thing too?
Instead of feeling the need to compliment a mum's weight loss or post-baby body, focus on how she's doing a great job raising a tiny dictator - ahem, I mean human.
"After Leo, I couldn't find a single swimsuit that fit my new body. Not one. So I built one."
If swimwear is the piece of your wardrobe filling you with the most dread right now - I get it. That's actually why I started Fearless.
After Leo, I couldn't find a single swimsuit that fit my new body. Not one that held where I needed holding, lifted where I wanted lifting, or made me feel even vaguely like myself. So I built one.
Fearless is designed around real measurements from 150+ women - not a sizing chart invented decades ago. Swimwear made for postpartum bodies: the c-section scars, the softer tummies, the deflated-then-bigger boobs, all of it.
Because you deserve to feel amazing in the body you have right now.
Swimwear made for the body you have right now.
Designed for postpartum bodies - the c-section scars, the softer tummies, the bigger boobs. All of it.
Shop Postpartum Collection
